ADS - After Drinking Syndrom(s)

Everbody, whose last glass of the night was kind of rotten, knows what I´m talking about: ADS, the After Drinking Syndrom(s). Headache, stomach issues and a messy brain are standard.

My latest ADS after the tnr christmas party last wednesday:

During the night I got a cramp in the calf. It hurts, but it's not that hard. Some stretching and rubbing the calf solve the problem usually. But if both arms felt asleep, it's quite difficult to get rid of the cramp. I felt a litte bit scared and a little bit like a turtle turned upside down. (signs of paralysis syndrom)

Few hours later I woke up because of my broken louvered blinds. Some sunbeams got through the holes and punched me in my face. "Who the fuck is shooting at me with a laser? Am I Darth Vader and is this the return of the jedi?" (messy brain)

The view in the mirror showed me that the Armageddon came one day too soon. Red and glassy eyes were the nice part. (the zombie syndrom -lasts mostly twelve hours-)

preparation tips to handle stomach issues:

Firstly get some fluffy toilet paper. The beer dump is never unexpected, he'll come and he'll hit you. Some air refreshener is recommended as well.
Secondly get a bucket with some water next to your bed. I call it "puking to go". Explanation shouldn't be necessary.
Thirdly be assure that you don't bring food after your drinking excess to your place. Most of the people are getting hungry while they are drinking and a visit at McDonalds at 4,5 or 6 o' clock is some kind of a ritual. But eat there and don't take any burgers home:

Some other ADS and their treatment options:

Blackout - check your cell phone: calls, pics, videos and sms can be helpful

Body odor and bad breath - take a shower and brush your teeth!!!!!

Blondie - sometimes it helps to give her 2,5€ for the bus

Brunette - She: "Hey, today it's World Kissing Day, :*!" You: "I'll give you a call when it's World Blow Job Day." Well, protect your face and the syndrom is gone.

Redhead - try to avoid the alcohol on the party before to think clearly

Big weird tattoo on the girl's back - change the position or run as fast as you can to the toilet if you get dizzy


1,5m tall great dane wakes you up - ask yourself why you haven't recognized the dog before and then wake the mistress to bring the dog some food. But do everything very slowly.

Ripped penile frenulum - ask her why she's getting her period. She'll leave on her own. Afterwards visit a doctor and clean up the massacre

Headache - drink a beer (hair of the dog) and listen to my favourite hangover song:

 
Along these lines, Merry Christmas and Cheers!!