ADS - After Drinking Syndrom(s)

Everbody, whose last glass of the night was kind of rotten, knows what I´m talking about: ADS, the After Drinking Syndrom(s). Headache, stomach issues and a messy brain are standard.

My latest ADS after the tnr christmas party last wednesday:

During the night I got a cramp in the calf. It hurts, but it's not that hard. Some stretching and rubbing the calf solve the problem usually. But if both arms felt asleep, it's quite difficult to get rid of the cramp. I felt a litte bit scared and a little bit like a turtle turned upside down. (signs of paralysis syndrom)

Few hours later I woke up because of my broken louvered blinds. Some sunbeams got through the holes and punched me in my face. "Who the fuck is shooting at me with a laser? Am I Darth Vader and is this the return of the jedi?" (messy brain)

The view in the mirror showed me that the Armageddon came one day too soon. Red and glassy eyes were the nice part. (the zombie syndrom -lasts mostly twelve hours-)

preparation tips to handle stomach issues:

Firstly get some fluffy toilet paper. The beer dump is never unexpected, he'll come and he'll hit you. Some air refreshener is recommended as well.
Secondly get a bucket with some water next to your bed. I call it "puking to go". Explanation shouldn't be necessary.
Thirdly be assure that you don't bring food after your drinking excess to your place. Most of the people are getting hungry while they are drinking and a visit at McDonalds at 4,5 or 6 o' clock is some kind of a ritual. But eat there and don't take any burgers home:

Some other ADS and their treatment options:

Blackout - check your cell phone: calls, pics, videos and sms can be helpful

Body odor and bad breath - take a shower and brush your teeth!!!!!

Blondie - sometimes it helps to give her 2,5€ for the bus

Brunette - She: "Hey, today it's World Kissing Day, :*!" You: "I'll give you a call when it's World Blow Job Day." Well, protect your face and the syndrom is gone.

Redhead - try to avoid the alcohol on the party before to think clearly

Big weird tattoo on the girl's back - change the position or run as fast as you can to the toilet if you get dizzy


1,5m tall great dane wakes you up - ask yourself why you haven't recognized the dog before and then wake the mistress to bring the dog some food. But do everything very slowly.

Ripped penile frenulum - ask her why she's getting her period. She'll leave on her own. Afterwards visit a doctor and clean up the massacre

Headache - drink a beer (hair of the dog) and listen to my favourite hangover song:

 
Along these lines, Merry Christmas and Cheers!!

Back to the Boobs

There was a time. A time without worries, a time without complications and a time without thinking. A time focussed on drinking, party and boobs. Just a couple of friends and the world belonged to us. Well, it sounds a little bit like sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll. Hell yeah, it was sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll.
But then things became different. Marriages, children and girlfriends jumped in our lifes. Time went by, girlfriends came and went, some meaningless, curios and funny sex affairs and then it finally happened: Divorce and break-ups at the same time. FREEDOM!! REUNION!! Time to revive old times.

Motto: Back to the Boobs!

Location: Ratskeller Recklinghausen. What a paradise, what a beautiful place. Honestly, 70 percent women.

Let the hunt begin. Pretty soon it appeared that we were the prey. Yes, we still have it! And we still haven't lost our charm. "Why don't you guys wear shirts with assholes of the day?" Exactly this girl went on a date with one of us some days later.

If you are surrounded by girls, hater ain't far away. 1,95m pure Mcfit on coke. Lovely guy. We tried to calm down the situation. I don't even know why it became a situtaion, because we are not violent or anything like this. But he didn't want to listen.

My friend: "Come on let's make some party and everything will be fine. Look we are six und you are two."
Mcfit: "Bla bla bla, I was in prison for three years bla bla bla."
My friend: "Who?"
Mcfit: "Me."
My friend: "Who wanna know?!"
Patsch! Mr. Mcfit punched my friend.

...Two seconds later...

The Mcfit guy flew from one side of the dancefloor to the other side. Bouncers came and brought us out. Mr. Mcfit wasn't really smart, he tried to attack us again and flew again. This time a litte bit harder than before.

Well, it's good to know the bouncers, so we were allowed to go back into the club.
After hours of drinking and dancing, what happens? You get hungry!
If there isn't a McDonalds it's pretty hard to get some food at five in the morning. But some smart guy runs a pizza place right next to the club and it was opened.
This pizza is the best pizza in the world...when you are drunked. Sorry, but if I would have been sober, the pizza would have flown like the Mcfit guy.
Anyway, we were sitting in the pizzeria with some other drunken guests and waited for the pizza. Tense atmosphere. Drunked and hungry - bad combination.
"Your mother can pick you up"
"Don't say something about my mother"

Mother here, mother there and so on.

Pizza guy: "What did you order?"
My friend: "Pizza Tonno, family size." He just ordered normal size, of course.
Pizza guy: "Seriously, what did you order?
My friend: "Pizza Tonno, family size, i swear."
Pizza guy yelled: "What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you fucking with me? You get barred and you can forget your pizza! I'm asking you the last time: What did you order?"
My friend: "Spaghetti platter!"

Well, I'm pretty sure that the pizzy guy spit on the pizza.

Older? Yes! More mature? No way!
It was a really nice evening with a nice flashback in the past. It seemed like nothing has changed.

Moral of the story: Forget the boobs and keep your roots.

Hello??? Forget the boobs?? Never!!

Final Chapter

As I promised you last time, here are some pics:

                                           My private resort with private beach

                                           My room - not really tidy

                                           My pet - addicted to alcohol

                                           My jacuzzi

                                           My pool   

                                           My partybus

                                           My fridge

                                           My dining room

                                           My garbage

                                           My basement party room

                                           My sunset

                                                     This is Thailand


These were some impressions of my past. At least the uncensored parts, but maybe I'm gonna tell you something about "my dark passenger" another time. Next time I'll let you know what's going on when some old friends, who haven't gone out together for a while, decide to celebrate a reunion.