DiCaprio's Legacy

Once upon a time in Thailand two guys, studied in Bangkok, went out to discover amazing Thailand. After ten hours with the night-train in a third class compartment and with just one hour of sleep, they arrived in Surathani. They didn´t sleep because they had to fight with cockroaches, mosquitos and the Thai-Railway-System. This route has just one rail and every time a train came from the other direction, their train had to wait in emergency lay-by. When the other train passed by it was such as loud as a jet plane on low level flight. From Surathani the two took the ferry to Kho Phi Phi. One of the most beautiful islands in the world. Beaches white as snow and crystal clear water. It’s the place where Leonardo DiCaprio made the movie “The Beach”. 

In the evening the two men went out for some party. Three bars and the dance floor right at the beach. The perfect location to drink some beer, enjoy your life and lose your mind. Few beers later the owner of the bar wanted to start a drinking contest and asked for some volunteers. The task consisted of drinking a bucket of whiskey with a straw together and three shots (wodka, whiskey, tequila) each as fast as possible. 

First Team: Two boys from Argentina. They drank the bucket and the three shots in 100 seconds.

Second Team: Two english poser. They tried to drink the bucket when one of them started to puke. Few seconds later the other one went crazy and jumped into the sea. Never seen him again. 

Third Team: Two Swedish girls. Yes exactly, blonde, blue eyes and big boobs. (We love Sweden) But they weren’t good drinker. After the girls finished the bucket they quit the competition and left the shots on the table. 

Fourth and last team: Two lovely and handsome boys from Germany. Well, the boys swallowed, no, they inhaled the bucket with sonic speed. The spectators screamed: “Oh my god, oh my god.” I thought a natural disaster is coming. Remember, the Swedish girls left their shots. So the Germans drank six shots each in an extraordinary time. NEW PHI PHI ISLAND RECORD!  39 seconds! How does it sound? Yes, it sounds glorious and I think the record still exists till today. 

First price: One bottle of Tequila!! Olé!

The night ended with the feeling of proud, glory, honor and two Swedish girls. The morning started with the worst headache you can’t even imagine. But it was worth it.

Well, next time I’ll tell you how and why some people swim back home from a party.

Don´t share a Cab

Thank God it`s Friday!! Before you start in your weekend, please read the following. Maybe you can use the advice.

Well, some days ago I got invited to an event called “Oktoberfest” in Bottrop.  It´s not that kind of event I usually go when I make party. I don’t like the music, and I didn´t like the singer (Michael Wendler) who performed that night.  But I like beer in one liter glasses. Anyway, I got a V.I.P. invitation: free entrance, free drinks and free food. Honestly, you can`t sprout such an offer even if Cro, DJ Bobo or anyone else of these wannabe singers would have been on the stage. The food was ok, the beer was great and the little shot with 90 percent pure alcohol was great as well.

 But there is always the point you need to go home. After six hours of drinking I reached this point and I decided to go. I trundled out of the marquee like Felix Baumgartner did during his record jump. I took a look around and couldn´t find a cab. While I was calling for a cab two girls came by and they recognized that I live next to their place. Actually they were mother and daughter and everyone who´s thinking: “Yeah, mother and daughter, it´s gonna be a great after party!” Trust me, even after six days of drinking you wouldn´t have had this thought if you have seen them. Well, I said to myself: “The night was cheap (except of the 20 Jägermeister I bought for my party-parish), let`s share the cab to keep the rest of my money in my wallet.”(Destination: 8km)

  

While we were sitting in the cab, the mother tried to invite me to their place for one last beer, the daughter was really fucking wasted, but she wanted to make party further. Respect to that, but I denied. The daughter, let´s call her Amy, wanted to go to another place which was on our route home. Her cousin was there, allegedly!” No big deal. Let´s drop her out.” Afterwards I recognized how the mother, let`s call her Beate, looked at me. I really got terrified to sit in the cab only with her.

 When we arrived and everything was dark, she checked the address once more and noted that she can´t read anymore, I read the address and as I assumed we were at the wrong place. (Destination: 4km)

  

Amy started crying because she had to find her cousin. Until today I don’t know why.  – Remember, we were sitting in a cab with this little clock which is showing the time in Euros – However, we drove to the other address. (Destination: 10 km)

After our arrival at the right place, Amy bounced out of the cab. Beate didn’t even make a move and I knew that my fear was valid. So I sent her out to get her daughter back. She came back without her daughter. Obviously it was my turn to find Amy. After a small discussion with a guy, I convinced him and Amy to go home. Back in the cab, we finally drove home. On the way home Amy and Beate started to fight. They insulted each other like occupants in a maximum security prison and when we arrived at their place both of them jumped out of the cab and one ran left and the other one ran right. I didn´t get any cent like it´s the typical way when you a share cab.

 End of the story: 43 € for an 8 km distance

Advice: Don´t share a cab with strangers. Except you have enough money or you can run faster than the driver.

Have a great weekend

Hey tavern-terrorists,

this is  my blog round about the best of the week: The weekend.
Within the next weeks you´ll get some funny stories, experiences and bullshit happened when i was drunked at the weekend. 

I guess everyone of you has an alcoholic story. Let´s find out if we have something in common or what the fuck else did we do last night.

But mind, alcohol is dangerous and this should not be a glorification.
It´s gonna be a tribute of drinking and fueling yourself with beer, tequila, wodka and all the drinks god made to lose our minds.

Feel free to contact me. Every kind of anthems, homages and admirations are welcome!
Anything else: drink a shot, think about it and stay cool.

By the way, check out my twitter account: https://twitter.com/week_end_worker


"I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest i just squandered."
(George Best)